20-01-13

I arrived too late into the day, and snow was starting to fall as I stuck my head outside the door to assess the prevailing conditions. I could have risen earlier, but then again, I could have gone to bed earlier the previous night. I should have found some drive. Perhaps the greyness of the sky was the infection causing my mood. As it was, all of the things that I could have achieved did nothing more than paralyse me. I chose not to be Sisyphus, and left my various boulders languishing at the bottom of the hill while I did nothing, daylight barely touching the edges of my life on this cold winter day. I settled at nothing, moving as if in a dream from one seated position to the next. I did not approach my lethargy with bad grace, rather with a blankness that felt like distraction, although I could not say what I was distracted by. Nor could the snow find the energy to commit. Its nascent flurry as I performed my basic weather check died as soon as I closed and locked the door in its face. Together, we were neither one thing nor the other.

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